Sunday, April 04, 2010
The Child-Free are seen as selfish. This annoys me greatly, because I don't think that anyone has a child out of altruism. Time and again, I read of well-known women (and men, but it's the women that annoy me the most, and I'm a Feminist. You wouldn't have guessed would you?) and these women have gushed at how, now they've dropped a sprog, their life is complete. They've always wanted a child, but have had to wait and build their career. They felt lost, a baby-shaped hole took up space where brain-matter had been consumed by celebrity status, and an identical void curled up and watched countless fad diets pass through... They wanted to pass on all their fabulously air-brushed genes, as well as beliefs in a fashionable 'religion' and their belief in fashion. Now they've got a child to fill up with all this and more, they can dress it in a micro version of whatever they're tottering around in. The baby is the ultimate accessory, and don't we all want the exact same thing? Get it through your heads, you idiotic mares. No, we don't.
God, it feels so good to say that!
Thank heavens for Renee Zellweger and Dame Helen Mirren and for Corinne Maier (a mother who tells the awful truth about it all in a recent book).
OK, someone out there might ask. What is it like to be Galactosemic? What is Galactosemia anyway? Well. Galactosemia is a complete inability to digest Milk-stuffs. Some people are diagnosed in mid-life because they've suffered various symptoms and have undergone a set of tests. Others, like myself, are diagnosed at birth. In short, Galactosemia governs my life. I have to slavishly read ingredient lists on all processed food and drink products including confectionary and vitamin supplements. One thing that really infuriates me is that chocolate manufacturers take great pains to tell us that their plain chocolate has been processed on a production line that also processes their milk chocolate, therefore the 'Plain' chocolate actually contains milk. So they should really be done for fraud. I spent over an hour in a local supermarket, turning over pack after pack of what was labelled Plain chocolate to read the small print. Every list included milk. Yes, Plain chocolate now means; Milk chocolate with less milk in it. Makes all the difference...
We Galactos have to pay royally down the nose for Soya-based chocolate, so that our indulgence in one of life's great pleasures will not be followed by an episode of violent constipation and vomiting, followed by an equally delightfull bout of diarrhoea - and vomiting. So, everyone - and my brother - it's no joke. And it's not like being Vegan. Simple this: you can choose to be Vegan, you cannot choose to be Galactosemic. And you can't 'get better', 'get help' or 'cure it'. Equally simple, folks: If you are Galactosemic, you are for the rest of your life and you have to put up with constant ignorance all around you every day, and you have to read ingredient lists constantly. Milk is snuck into everything, even products you would't expect to contain it.
But you can get help. From a Galactosemic. There are millions of us, we're all over the place and we're really irritating to restauranteurs, hoteliers, catering managers, waiting staff, 'Professional' chefs, party planners, apathetic relatives and the Milk Marketing Board! Incidentally, if chefs really were as 'Professional' as they say they are, they would be well aware of what Galactosemia is and how to cater for a Galactosemic's needs. As it is, they're all completely useless.
But we can make life easier for each-other; I'm a frequent customer in a certain health food store in Staines and another branch of the same store in Kingston, and a couple of times I have been asked to give advice to a fellow customer whose doctor has scared the life of him/her by diagnosing Galactosemia. I've pointed out combinations of products and particular foodstuffs to allay irrational fears of starvation. So we're not completely evil...
... for the last time, if I drink a glass of skimmed milk or soak it into my cereal, I will be violently contipated. It is not suitable for a Galactosemic. Neither is Goat's milk - because it comes from an animal, and animals such as goats, sheep and (strangely) cows produce milk. OK? Just thought I'd clear that up; believe me you'd need industrial equipment if you fed me any milk.
... and for the very last time, cream cheese is actually cheese, and you know what will happen if I eat it.... and much of it will end up over you.
Oh yes, another problem with peoples' ignorance about Galactosemia is when someone accuses you of having an Eating Disorder. Someone (who knows who he is) intimated in a none-too-subtle fashion that I had an ED. Believe me, I wanted to punch his lights out. His accusation was insulting to me, and insulting to anyone who is fighting an ED. If a member of his family were to be diagnosed either as Galactosemic or with an ED, I'll be laughing. He'll get no help from me.
Here's a tip for free. Fancy a sandwich or a submarine roll, but you're sick of your fillings languishing between slices of dry bread? Use Houmous. It's tasty, protein-rich, spreads easily and is low in colesterol. Simples!
My favourite comfort dish after a jog or after a day at work: Egg and beans on toast. One or two eggs fried in a smear of olive oil with a sprinkle of mixed herbs, half a tin of baked beans microwaved (on high for 1 and a half minutes, stir, another minute, let sit for a minute) served together on two slices of toast. A liberal schlop of ketchup, and there you have it. A hug on a plate. I'm not going to let anyone tell me that's not healthy. We need some fat, proteins, carbs, sugar and a little salt. A little of everything is healthy. Denial, martyrdom and the labelling of everything utterly delicious as evil is the way to spread complete misery. To be unable to enjoy what continually limited choices we are given, because of governmental scaremongering, is a diabolical situation. No one should have to live like that. I've definitely no intention of letting that happen to me. Fight!
So if you eat something you love, it makes you feel good and you have the energy you need with no nasty repercussions, then eat it. If you eat something you like, but it makes you violently ill, then avoid it in future and find an alternative. You've got to fight for your right to enjoy your food. Dont't let your life be governed by misery; whether you're Galactosemic, Diabetic, Coeliac, Vegetarian, Vegan, Carnivore or Omnivore, you should strive to love food. Just don't give me any more of your ignorant BS, unless you'd love to digest a tin of braised tofu, with the tin on...
This is how the personal becomes political. For how much longer are we going to put up with the continual contradictions in the press, the government forcing one view and then twisting the tunnel. It's like we are stuck in this disgusting kaleidoscope, where the images of available food products are shaped and coloured in familiar ways. Suddenly, and increasingly often, the gadget is given a twist and the images distort. What we were told yesterday was perfectly healthy in comfortable portions is now only governmentally desirable as a thimblefull. Yesterday a thimble, today nothing. What's for tea tomorrow?
Not surprisingly, I wish that everyone would take better care of themselves. The obesity epidemic worries me greatly; I've already mentioned my fear of becoming as slobby as the wobbling women I see around town. It is perfectly possible to be big, plump, voluptuous etc, and still be attractive and healthy. For heaven's sake. OK, Nigella Lawson, Dawn French, Oprah Winfrey and Crystal Renn have armies of stylists and photographers to help them look stunning, but you can bet your bolognaise that they do work at keeping themselves healthy. When did you last see Nigella in grubby training pants with a spare tyre straining inside a £2 tee-shirt, hair dragged back in a scruffy pony-tail and a face full of junk-food zits as she lumbered through Knightsbridge chomping a grease burger in a bun? Didn't think so.
I might be a short, reasonably slim size 8 but I am far from complacent. Actually, I am disgusted at the whole shabang. Gyms have to be well maintained, and this costs money, but if more people are going to take out membership and actually use facilities other than the vending machines and the loos, then the prices really should be reduced. I would even join our local gym, if the weight and resistance machines cost as little to use for half an hour as the shampoos and cosmetics advertised in the brochure cost for a matching group. But as it is, I have found that the best way to keep myself active outside of my walk to and from the bus to work, and the stair-climbing to the kitchen/loo/plush upstairs offices at work is to go jogging whenever I can. If I can keep my trim waistline into my 70s (I should live and be well) I shall be delighted. I'm guessing that by then, gym membership will cost about as much as a floor of offices inside the Guerkin.
God, it feels so good to say that!
Thank heavens for Renee Zellweger and Dame Helen Mirren and for Corinne Maier (a mother who tells the awful truth about it all in a recent book).
OK, someone out there might ask. What is it like to be Galactosemic? What is Galactosemia anyway? Well. Galactosemia is a complete inability to digest Milk-stuffs. Some people are diagnosed in mid-life because they've suffered various symptoms and have undergone a set of tests. Others, like myself, are diagnosed at birth. In short, Galactosemia governs my life. I have to slavishly read ingredient lists on all processed food and drink products including confectionary and vitamin supplements. One thing that really infuriates me is that chocolate manufacturers take great pains to tell us that their plain chocolate has been processed on a production line that also processes their milk chocolate, therefore the 'Plain' chocolate actually contains milk. So they should really be done for fraud. I spent over an hour in a local supermarket, turning over pack after pack of what was labelled Plain chocolate to read the small print. Every list included milk. Yes, Plain chocolate now means; Milk chocolate with less milk in it. Makes all the difference...
We Galactos have to pay royally down the nose for Soya-based chocolate, so that our indulgence in one of life's great pleasures will not be followed by an episode of violent constipation and vomiting, followed by an equally delightfull bout of diarrhoea - and vomiting. So, everyone - and my brother - it's no joke. And it's not like being Vegan. Simple this: you can choose to be Vegan, you cannot choose to be Galactosemic. And you can't 'get better', 'get help' or 'cure it'. Equally simple, folks: If you are Galactosemic, you are for the rest of your life and you have to put up with constant ignorance all around you every day, and you have to read ingredient lists constantly. Milk is snuck into everything, even products you would't expect to contain it.
But you can get help. From a Galactosemic. There are millions of us, we're all over the place and we're really irritating to restauranteurs, hoteliers, catering managers, waiting staff, 'Professional' chefs, party planners, apathetic relatives and the Milk Marketing Board! Incidentally, if chefs really were as 'Professional' as they say they are, they would be well aware of what Galactosemia is and how to cater for a Galactosemic's needs. As it is, they're all completely useless.
But we can make life easier for each-other; I'm a frequent customer in a certain health food store in Staines and another branch of the same store in Kingston, and a couple of times I have been asked to give advice to a fellow customer whose doctor has scared the life of him/her by diagnosing Galactosemia. I've pointed out combinations of products and particular foodstuffs to allay irrational fears of starvation. So we're not completely evil...
... for the last time, if I drink a glass of skimmed milk or soak it into my cereal, I will be violently contipated. It is not suitable for a Galactosemic. Neither is Goat's milk - because it comes from an animal, and animals such as goats, sheep and (strangely) cows produce milk. OK? Just thought I'd clear that up; believe me you'd need industrial equipment if you fed me any milk.
... and for the very last time, cream cheese is actually cheese, and you know what will happen if I eat it.... and much of it will end up over you.
Oh yes, another problem with peoples' ignorance about Galactosemia is when someone accuses you of having an Eating Disorder. Someone (who knows who he is) intimated in a none-too-subtle fashion that I had an ED. Believe me, I wanted to punch his lights out. His accusation was insulting to me, and insulting to anyone who is fighting an ED. If a member of his family were to be diagnosed either as Galactosemic or with an ED, I'll be laughing. He'll get no help from me.
Here's a tip for free. Fancy a sandwich or a submarine roll, but you're sick of your fillings languishing between slices of dry bread? Use Houmous. It's tasty, protein-rich, spreads easily and is low in colesterol. Simples!
My favourite comfort dish after a jog or after a day at work: Egg and beans on toast. One or two eggs fried in a smear of olive oil with a sprinkle of mixed herbs, half a tin of baked beans microwaved (on high for 1 and a half minutes, stir, another minute, let sit for a minute) served together on two slices of toast. A liberal schlop of ketchup, and there you have it. A hug on a plate. I'm not going to let anyone tell me that's not healthy. We need some fat, proteins, carbs, sugar and a little salt. A little of everything is healthy. Denial, martyrdom and the labelling of everything utterly delicious as evil is the way to spread complete misery. To be unable to enjoy what continually limited choices we are given, because of governmental scaremongering, is a diabolical situation. No one should have to live like that. I've definitely no intention of letting that happen to me. Fight!
So if you eat something you love, it makes you feel good and you have the energy you need with no nasty repercussions, then eat it. If you eat something you like, but it makes you violently ill, then avoid it in future and find an alternative. You've got to fight for your right to enjoy your food. Dont't let your life be governed by misery; whether you're Galactosemic, Diabetic, Coeliac, Vegetarian, Vegan, Carnivore or Omnivore, you should strive to love food. Just don't give me any more of your ignorant BS, unless you'd love to digest a tin of braised tofu, with the tin on...
This is how the personal becomes political. For how much longer are we going to put up with the continual contradictions in the press, the government forcing one view and then twisting the tunnel. It's like we are stuck in this disgusting kaleidoscope, where the images of available food products are shaped and coloured in familiar ways. Suddenly, and increasingly often, the gadget is given a twist and the images distort. What we were told yesterday was perfectly healthy in comfortable portions is now only governmentally desirable as a thimblefull. Yesterday a thimble, today nothing. What's for tea tomorrow?
Not surprisingly, I wish that everyone would take better care of themselves. The obesity epidemic worries me greatly; I've already mentioned my fear of becoming as slobby as the wobbling women I see around town. It is perfectly possible to be big, plump, voluptuous etc, and still be attractive and healthy. For heaven's sake. OK, Nigella Lawson, Dawn French, Oprah Winfrey and Crystal Renn have armies of stylists and photographers to help them look stunning, but you can bet your bolognaise that they do work at keeping themselves healthy. When did you last see Nigella in grubby training pants with a spare tyre straining inside a £2 tee-shirt, hair dragged back in a scruffy pony-tail and a face full of junk-food zits as she lumbered through Knightsbridge chomping a grease burger in a bun? Didn't think so.
I might be a short, reasonably slim size 8 but I am far from complacent. Actually, I am disgusted at the whole shabang. Gyms have to be well maintained, and this costs money, but if more people are going to take out membership and actually use facilities other than the vending machines and the loos, then the prices really should be reduced. I would even join our local gym, if the weight and resistance machines cost as little to use for half an hour as the shampoos and cosmetics advertised in the brochure cost for a matching group. But as it is, I have found that the best way to keep myself active outside of my walk to and from the bus to work, and the stair-climbing to the kitchen/loo/plush upstairs offices at work is to go jogging whenever I can. If I can keep my trim waistline into my 70s (I should live and be well) I shall be delighted. I'm guessing that by then, gym membership will cost about as much as a floor of offices inside the Guerkin.
Labels: Celebrity mums, food freedom, Galactosemia, Government scaremongering, gym prices, obesity
